New York City Men Make Me Sick
By: Andrew Bilach
This is going to catch a lot of you off-guard, and if it does, maybe I’m sorry. I don’t know quite yet until I see how people react.
I had an extra ticket to give away to yesterday’s Everclear show at Highline Ballroom. I placed an ad on Craigslist saying that I had a free ticket and if someone wanted it, they had to meet me at the venue. That’s all. No fine print. No nonsense. Nothing like that. It’s not my style. So, a female calls me and says, “If I take the ticket, do I have to be your date?” Now, I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “This b*tch is whacked out.” Until, she directed me to a Craigslist post where someone from Murray Hill was giving a free ticket to a “hot chick” who had to meet him at the show. According to his post, he won two free passes from the venue.
So, I sat there thinking to myself, “What the f*ck is wrong with the world?” I’m not jaded. I get it. This guy is trying to get laid. However, any female that would even entertain this idea is pathetic and needs to seriously rethink her life. First of all, the guy claimed to be 25. If you’re 25 and living in Murray Hill, you can get laid based on the fact you live in Murray Hill. You have daddy’s money and there are an army of morons that will take their clothes off for that ridiculous reason. We decided to send this j*rkoff an email as if we were a girl with very little money who wanted to go with her boyfriend. J*rkoff responded, “Nah, lookin for a$$ tonight.” Pathetic. He made an attempt to get a$$ due to an excess Everclear ticket. How sad is his life? Now, I contacted our attorney and I can’t mention this guy’s name, so he’ll remain nameless.
Men make me sick. When did we become an army of p*ssies? Why are men that live in Manhattan talking as if they’re from the San Fernando Valley? And why are all of you acting like tough guys? You have daddy’s money and daddy paid for your schooling. You’re not tough. You’re daddy’s little boy. I now know why more women than ever are saying they can’t meet a man here. Fellas, let me tell you, women are f*cking psycho, but you are f*cking pussies. Stop dieting. Stop eating veggie burgers. Eat food. Drink beer. Scream.
If you want to know how men from New York City now talk, this is a perfect example.
Yep, I’m agreeing with the women. Men, stop it with the Blackberries. Stop wiggling when you walk. And please, stop it with this horrendous electronic techno music.
My name is Andrew, and I am an American. I love our country and I speak English. I’ll be teaching man classes at a bar near you next week, p*ssies.
Other Interesting Things...
ANDREW, U KNOW THERE ARE TIMES I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOU DIE BUT I LOVE YOU FOR THIS
mAAT(Quote) (Reply)
I have been waiting months since the server switch for AKF to get back to the AKF of old and this is a damn good start.
ArchedIsisByleveling(Quote) (Reply)
The happy part is this was written by a straight man and he is absolutely 100% correct. Men in NYC are pathetic and thankfully I don’t have to deal with them now!
Carla(Quote) (Reply)
That impersonation was great. I see guys like this all the time on the LES. What happened to us? I’m sorry ladies.
Vinny(Quote) (Reply)
WHY WERE YOU AT EVER CLEAR?? SOMEONE PANTIES ARE IN A BUNCH! THIS IS ALL HORSE WASH!
SMASHERDEVOURER(Quote) (Reply)
I always said you’re best when you’re angry.
I was at this show too.
Where were you?
zebo(Quote) (Reply)
The best rant you ever did was on that show where you said your daughter is only allowed to date guys over 6′ tall and 200 pounds.
Art Axelakis!!!
5150(Quote) (Reply)
My sister is dating some guy from around those parts. I met the guy 15 times and he was in a suit each time. Douchebaggery to the highest degree.
1942(Quote) (Reply)
You have to give him credit for trying. It would be sad if a woman relinquished her body over a ticket of any sort, let alone a probably $20 ticket. My guess is you were so upset because it was a ticket and you’d probably want it to go to a real fan.
I have to give you credit where its due. I don’t agree always with your verbiage on the show but you are an upstanding guy each time I’ve met you. I’d allow you to date my sister – that I don’t have. If I did you’d be allowed.
Oscar(Quote) (Reply)
*The point is escaping all of you so stop the hooting and hollaring with praise. He doesn’t hate hipsters or these guys but it’s just an outburst of emotion. I look like a hipster and he was always nice to me. Andrew has had issues for years with peoplle who are ungenuine and it all is a stem from that.
Darius is from LA though but he couldn’t have been born there because his accent is Southern. I wonder what he thinks of this Los Angeles hatred rant without saying it.
I love this show no matter what.
Dennis(Quote) (Reply)
So much for the PG-rated version of the site. This is the site I love. Good interview with Erik Rogers gents!
SUiCiDE MeSSiaH(Quote) (Reply)
im from the south, yet i’ve lived in upstate NY, in DC, in NYC, and in LA and i have found d-bags everywhere. they can’t be stopped! this guy with the ticket though should get hit by a bus.
darius(Quote) (Reply)
i am in agreement with darius. i must say apprehension set in when i red the title to the article but in a strange way i agree with andrew on this one which is rare. i mean the guy wanted ass and it makes sense but this is so rather gay. he needs a steamroller, not a bus
darius i loved your pm5k thing
yiggernes(Quote) (Reply)
…and they make me sick too.
bright*young*kitten(Quote) (Reply)
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