By: Darius

Well, I’m officially done with Chris Cornell. I can’t take it anymore. What the hell is wrong with him? I received an advance copy of his upcoming Timbaland-produced record, Scream, and listened to the entire thing in one sitting. Granted, it was hard to listen to every note when I was busy slamming my head against my desk, but I heard enough to realize that Cornell has officially gone off the deep end.

Chris Cornell - Yes, You Just Committed Career Suicide

This is the same man who fronted SOUNDGARDEN, for crying out loud! You know Soundgarden, one of the cornerstone bands of the 90’s Seattle explosion that took over the world. “Jesus Christ Pose”, “Fell on Black Days”, “Burden in my Hand”, “Outshined”, remember those songs? Ya, of course you do. Those are just a small sliver of the incredible catalogue that this band produced. Every album by Soundgarden is fantastic and the driving force behind it was that unmistakable wail that penetrated the air with such ferocity that it could shake you to your core. Chris Cornell was one of the greatest voices in rock music, period.

So Soundgarden breaks up, he releases a listless solo album Euphoria Morning, with its one memorable hit “Can’t Change Me”, and we wonder what’s next. Well, Zach De La Rocha goes AWOL, and the rhythm section in Rage Against the Machine needs a frontman, and who better than Cornell? The result, Audioslave, released 3 albums of material and a live DVD and the overall impact is pretty debatable. Personally, I didn’t like Audioslave, save for about 3 of their songs, all off the first record. But hell, I respected the guys in the band for putting out decent rock music at a time when Britney Spears was taking over the world.

Audioslave ends and Cornell puts out another solo album, Carry On, and it’s just miserable. The mix is terrible, Cornell’s voice is WAY too far in front, the songs are horrendous, and the lyrics meander from straight cheese to indecipherable drivel. Did I mention that he dared to cover Michael Jackson? Good God.

So at a time when its damn near fashionable to do the band reunion thing (Pixies, My Bloody Valentine, Biohazard, Vision of Disorder, the Police, etc, etc, etc), you would think that there’s a chance Soundgarden would get back together. Cornell still sings the songs at his solo gigs.

But no, Cornell decides to go it alone, again, because maybe the 3rd time is a charm and he can finally put out a listenable solo effort.

...and Mr. Drummond thinks so too!

No, no he can’t. Because Cornell decides to bring in Timbaland, ditch the band altogether, and put out a pop album. I can’t even describe how it sounds, because my ears don’t want to believe that it’s Cornell providing the voice to this synth-heavy, hip-hop beat laden manifesto that is bound to alienate whatever true Soundgarden fans he has left. You don’t believe me? Check out this track on YouTube.

Yup, it’s terrible. Disgusting. Garbage. But Cornell doesn’t care, he decided since he can’t put out a quality solo record with a real band he’ll just ditch the art form altogether. To prove this point, just wait until you see the album’s accompanying liner notes, laced with pictures of him smashing a guitar to pieces. Well, I guess he showed us! All I know is if I hear some 15 year old girl squealing about this new singer named Chris Cornell who is going to provide the soundtrack to her upcoming Smirnoff Ice spiked sleepover party, I’m going to cry. Or throw up. Or both.

For those of you actually take the time to listen to Scream and are able survive it without throwing the album or yourself out the window, just put on Badmotorfinger and play “Jesus Christ Pose” at a deafening volume.  You’ll feel much better.

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